Five Must Have Manners For Kids

Kids need to embrace good manners.  If they don’t they will be less respected, will find social interactions limited, and put up walls toward success in life.  Here are five things your child must follow.

 

·        Use polite words

Words like please, yes thank you, no thank you, I’m sorry, may I, hello, good-bye, will be noticed in any interaction, any place, and with others of any age.  There is no substitute for use of polite words.  They should become so natural with your children that they use it without thinking.  For this to happen you have to both model the behavior consistently yourself and demand such behavior from your children at home.  Just like you teach your child to brush their teeth, to take a bath and to eat, you have to teach it and expect it.

 

·        Use appropriate body language

Your child must be taught that they are always communicating with others through body stances and movements.  Body language can convey a bigger message than words.  A simple eye roll at the same time a child says, “yes, thank you,” reduces the polite words to pure rudeness.  Arms crossed in front of the body when saying “I’m sorry,” cancels any real meaning from the words.  Children must be guided to understand how this works.  It must be pointed out to your children how body language works.

·        Turn taking

Kids need to learn how to take turns, that they don’t need to be first, and that peace between themselves and others requires some thoughtful actions.  Sharing what they have, being kind and trying to see the world through another person’s perspective is the best way to demonstrate respect, empathy, and find success in this world.

·        Personal care

Knowing that care for the body can have a major effect on their relationships with others is critical.  Living, working and playing with others requires a person to manage their own health, cleanliness, and activity.  It will make a difference in their life if they take care of their bodies.  Others will enjoy being in their presence and they will function more effectively.

·        Personal actions

Children learn early on that their actions can set the tone for successful relationships.  Eating and drinking in a way that does not make others uncomfortable, maintaining an appropriate personal space with others, and demonstrating responsibility for what you do or don’t do is critical.  Children can be taught these significant underlying and basic skills.

 

 

The Old and the Young

In the past children were brought up with more family guidance because family was close by and generations of families had a hand in the raising of children.  Children were influenced more by their family than their friends because of this tight family community.  Parent, grandparents, aunts and uncles all stood together with the same values, behaviors and influenced the younger members toward social and emotional competency. 

 

 

Things are different today.  People are more mobile so generations of families tend to float apart and children are less influenced by generational supports.  They grow up developing the ways of their friends and their friend’s families, babysitters, teachers, television and the internet.  Life has changed and with it we have lost the ability to mold our children.  It has become necessary to pay attention to the direct instruction and modeling of behaviors that are respectful to others and that encourage our children to contribute to each community they are part of as opposed to that community pushing it’s values on our children.  We want our children to have empathy for others, to better their world, and to grow knowing they can influence their environment in positive ways. 

Knowing how to make good choices is essential.  Children have to choose how to respond to others, to discuss an issue, to understand emotions in themselves and others and how to work, play and live in a world community where there are so many choices being presented to them each day.  If a child is given a basic set of rules or a system for making choices and knowing expectations, they will feel more confident and less anxious.

Long ago, children knew where and who to go to for confirmation, support, and encouragement.  Today children often only have their immediate family, and a circle of people who live on the periphery of their family and are less likely to have the same concern as extended family.  This compounds the need for parents to pick and choose who will influence their children.  It requires families to pay attention to those people in their children’s lives who value what they value.

How Do Children Learn Success?

Few parents really think their child will grow up to be a successful adult without teaching them how to attain that goal.  We send kids to school year after year to excel in academics, but what do we do to make sure they have social skills, confidence, and etiquette, which are all necessary for success?   

Very little is the answer to that question.  Somehow, we think our children will just absorb what they need to know naturally as they grow.  Waiting for that to happen is a mistake and your child will pay for that mistake.  Children need to be taught and shown manners, social skills, appropriate communication skills and they need to be guided as they build confidence, increase emotional intelligence, and people skills. 

It is important for parents to know and access training that will give their child the boost they need to fully become a successful adult and not sit by and merely hope it happens.  Unless parents make the effort to teach their own children what they need to behave appropriately in all situations, they need to seek out specific training by a professional who does these on a regular basis.  Once children have learned skills they are ready to practice those so that when they become adults well versed in behavior that emits success. 

In 1999, in The Journal of Educational Research, Vol. 92, Issue 6, Greg Brigman and others, presented the article “Teaching Children School Success Skills.”  This study pointed out the success of children in specific schools that added the direct instruction of behaviors that increase listening, attendance, and social skills.  The research showed children who got the direct instruction in these “nonacademic” skills significantly increased performance in school.

Children who learn and know how to behave will do better in school, and earn the respect and admiration of others.  They will demonstrate more leadership qualities and model effective relational skills.  Give your child that edge in their development through classes that teach such skills and don’t just wait for them to soak up those skills naturally.  Help your child take their dreams. to reality.

Visit our website www.ImageflairAcademy.com and www.EtiquettePlusAcademy.com to know more about our program.