In the past children were
brought up with more family guidance because family was close by and
generations of families had a hand in the raising of children. Children were influenced more by their family
than their friends because of this tight family community. Parent, grandparents, aunts and uncles all
stood together with the same values, behaviors and influenced the younger
members toward social and emotional competency.
Things are different
today. People are more mobile so
generations of families tend to float apart and children are less influenced by
generational supports. They grow up
developing the ways of their friends and their friend’s families, babysitters,
teachers, television and the internet.
Life has changed and with it we have lost the ability to mold our
children. It has become necessary to pay
attention to the direct instruction and modeling of behaviors that are
respectful to others and that encourage our children to contribute to each
community they are part of as opposed to that community pushing it’s values on
our children. We want our children to
have empathy for others, to better their world, and to grow knowing they can influence
their environment in positive ways.
Knowing how to make good choices is essential. Children have to choose how to respond to
others, to discuss an issue, to understand emotions in themselves and others
and how to work, play and live in a world community where there are so many
choices being presented to them each day.
If a child is given a basic set of rules or a system for making choices
and knowing expectations, they will feel more confident and less anxious.
Long ago, children knew where
and who to go to for confirmation, support, and encouragement. Today children often only have their
immediate family, and a circle of people who live on the periphery of their
family and are less likely to have the same concern as extended family. This compounds the need for parents to pick
and choose who will influence their children.
It requires families to pay attention to those people in their
children’s lives who value what they value.
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