The Teenager Technology Talk

Both parents and kids have come to depend upon technology to function in daily life.  It is amazing in so many ways.  We can stay in touch with each other, communicate with photos and images and find information quickly.  There are, however, negative aspects that teens whose brains are yet to fully develop, must choose to avoid.  It is similar to a tight wire act for parents.

 
Balancing giving your teen independence but promoting healthy technology behaviors is tricky.  To be perfectly frank, balancing any issue with a teen is tricky and here’s why.  A study at the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts, researchers studied a teen’s and adult’s ability to identify emotions using images.  They used M.R.I.’s to watch the parts of the brain that worked during these tests.  The part of the brain that reacted in adults was the frontal cortex often called the CEO of the brain.  The part of the brain that activated in teens was the amygdala, which is more instinctable and reflexive.  The teen brain reacted more often without thought.  No parent is surprised by this information.

What it does indicate is that teens have to be given more instruction in how they react to their environment.  With technology a mere flick of the thumb, an off the wall comment, or a slight push from peers can create an action with technology that creates a huge problem for the teen.  Teens are so focused on being part of the crowd, included, accepted, and doing what is cool that they tend to be impulsive to make those choices.  Sending an inappropriate image or text can result in unintended consequences, leave teens open to what they feel is an anonymous communication, and cross the line between legal and illegal actions unknowingly.

With that in mind here are some things parents should do and discuss with their teens that will support appropriate techy behavior and cell phone etiquette:

#1.  Do only those things you would like done to yourself.

#2.  Don’t text when angry.

#3.  Put your privacy before anything else.

#4.  Remember that whatever you put on line, stays on line.

#5.  Anything can go viral.

#6.  Don’t communicate anything you don’t want your parents to see because they will.

#7.  Don’t talk so loudly that others can hear your conversations.

#8.  Don’t allow phones in the bedroom when your teen should be sleeping

#9.  For every hour on line spend one hour off line.

#10. Don’t allow phones during meal times – talk to each other.

 

 

Five Must Have Manners For Kids

Kids need to embrace good manners.  If they don’t they will be less respected, will find social interactions limited, and put up walls toward success in life.  Here are five things your child must follow.

 

·        Use polite words

Words like please, yes thank you, no thank you, I’m sorry, may I, hello, good-bye, will be noticed in any interaction, any place, and with others of any age.  There is no substitute for use of polite words.  They should become so natural with your children that they use it without thinking.  For this to happen you have to both model the behavior consistently yourself and demand such behavior from your children at home.  Just like you teach your child to brush their teeth, to take a bath and to eat, you have to teach it and expect it.

 

·        Use appropriate body language

Your child must be taught that they are always communicating with others through body stances and movements.  Body language can convey a bigger message than words.  A simple eye roll at the same time a child says, “yes, thank you,” reduces the polite words to pure rudeness.  Arms crossed in front of the body when saying “I’m sorry,” cancels any real meaning from the words.  Children must be guided to understand how this works.  It must be pointed out to your children how body language works.

·        Turn taking

Kids need to learn how to take turns, that they don’t need to be first, and that peace between themselves and others requires some thoughtful actions.  Sharing what they have, being kind and trying to see the world through another person’s perspective is the best way to demonstrate respect, empathy, and find success in this world.

·        Personal care

Knowing that care for the body can have a major effect on their relationships with others is critical.  Living, working and playing with others requires a person to manage their own health, cleanliness, and activity.  It will make a difference in their life if they take care of their bodies.  Others will enjoy being in their presence and they will function more effectively.

·        Personal actions

Children learn early on that their actions can set the tone for successful relationships.  Eating and drinking in a way that does not make others uncomfortable, maintaining an appropriate personal space with others, and demonstrating responsibility for what you do or don’t do is critical.  Children can be taught these significant underlying and basic skills.