The Teenager Technology Talk

Both parents and kids have come to depend upon technology to function in daily life.  It is amazing in so many ways.  We can stay in touch with each other, communicate with photos and images and find information quickly.  There are, however, negative aspects that teens whose brains are yet to fully develop, must choose to avoid.  It is similar to a tight wire act for parents.

 
Balancing giving your teen independence but promoting healthy technology behaviors is tricky.  To be perfectly frank, balancing any issue with a teen is tricky and here’s why.  A study at the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts, researchers studied a teen’s and adult’s ability to identify emotions using images.  They used M.R.I.’s to watch the parts of the brain that worked during these tests.  The part of the brain that reacted in adults was the frontal cortex often called the CEO of the brain.  The part of the brain that activated in teens was the amygdala, which is more instinctable and reflexive.  The teen brain reacted more often without thought.  No parent is surprised by this information.

What it does indicate is that teens have to be given more instruction in how they react to their environment.  With technology a mere flick of the thumb, an off the wall comment, or a slight push from peers can create an action with technology that creates a huge problem for the teen.  Teens are so focused on being part of the crowd, included, accepted, and doing what is cool that they tend to be impulsive to make those choices.  Sending an inappropriate image or text can result in unintended consequences, leave teens open to what they feel is an anonymous communication, and cross the line between legal and illegal actions unknowingly.

With that in mind here are some things parents should do and discuss with their teens that will support appropriate techy behavior and cell phone etiquette:

#1.  Do only those things you would like done to yourself.

#2.  Don’t text when angry.

#3.  Put your privacy before anything else.

#4.  Remember that whatever you put on line, stays on line.

#5.  Anything can go viral.

#6.  Don’t communicate anything you don’t want your parents to see because they will.

#7.  Don’t talk so loudly that others can hear your conversations.

#8.  Don’t allow phones in the bedroom when your teen should be sleeping

#9.  For every hour on line spend one hour off line.

#10. Don’t allow phones during meal times – talk to each other.

 

 

The Old and the Young

In the past children were brought up with more family guidance because family was close by and generations of families had a hand in the raising of children.  Children were influenced more by their family than their friends because of this tight family community.  Parent, grandparents, aunts and uncles all stood together with the same values, behaviors and influenced the younger members toward social and emotional competency. 

 

 

Things are different today.  People are more mobile so generations of families tend to float apart and children are less influenced by generational supports.  They grow up developing the ways of their friends and their friend’s families, babysitters, teachers, television and the internet.  Life has changed and with it we have lost the ability to mold our children.  It has become necessary to pay attention to the direct instruction and modeling of behaviors that are respectful to others and that encourage our children to contribute to each community they are part of as opposed to that community pushing it’s values on our children.  We want our children to have empathy for others, to better their world, and to grow knowing they can influence their environment in positive ways. 

Knowing how to make good choices is essential.  Children have to choose how to respond to others, to discuss an issue, to understand emotions in themselves and others and how to work, play and live in a world community where there are so many choices being presented to them each day.  If a child is given a basic set of rules or a system for making choices and knowing expectations, they will feel more confident and less anxious.

Long ago, children knew where and who to go to for confirmation, support, and encouragement.  Today children often only have their immediate family, and a circle of people who live on the periphery of their family and are less likely to have the same concern as extended family.  This compounds the need for parents to pick and choose who will influence their children.  It requires families to pay attention to those people in their children’s lives who value what they value.

How Do Children Learn Success?

Few parents really think their child will grow up to be a successful adult without teaching them how to attain that goal.  We send kids to school year after year to excel in academics, but what do we do to make sure they have social skills, confidence, and etiquette, which are all necessary for success?   

Very little is the answer to that question.  Somehow, we think our children will just absorb what they need to know naturally as they grow.  Waiting for that to happen is a mistake and your child will pay for that mistake.  Children need to be taught and shown manners, social skills, appropriate communication skills and they need to be guided as they build confidence, increase emotional intelligence, and people skills. 

It is important for parents to know and access training that will give their child the boost they need to fully become a successful adult and not sit by and merely hope it happens.  Unless parents make the effort to teach their own children what they need to behave appropriately in all situations, they need to seek out specific training by a professional who does these on a regular basis.  Once children have learned skills they are ready to practice those so that when they become adults well versed in behavior that emits success. 

In 1999, in The Journal of Educational Research, Vol. 92, Issue 6, Greg Brigman and others, presented the article “Teaching Children School Success Skills.”  This study pointed out the success of children in specific schools that added the direct instruction of behaviors that increase listening, attendance, and social skills.  The research showed children who got the direct instruction in these “nonacademic” skills significantly increased performance in school.

Children who learn and know how to behave will do better in school, and earn the respect and admiration of others.  They will demonstrate more leadership qualities and model effective relational skills.  Give your child that edge in their development through classes that teach such skills and don’t just wait for them to soak up those skills naturally.  Help your child take their dreams. to reality.

Visit our website www.ImageflairAcademy.com and www.EtiquettePlusAcademy.com to know more about our program.