Teaching Values to Children

It is never too early to teach our children about values.

As most parents would agree, my husband and I would like our child to grow up to be a responsible and trustworthy person. My daughter is 8 and we started teaching her to be responsible when she was 6 years old. This began with assigning her everyday tasks, such as doing her homework on time. And, when I say “on time”, I meant it. If she said she would start doing her homework at 10am, I made sure that she was sitting at her study table 5 minutes before 10am. Children need to learn how to be responsible and “keeping on time” is one way to teach them accountability but also the value of time, and this knowledge is important for her now as well as when she grows up and starts working in the society.

I remember when we first taught our daughter about being punctual, she was often late. She didn’t understand at first that it’s not enough to be where you are supposed to be at the start time- you also have to be prepared and ready at the designated start time. For example, if she was to be at the study table at 10, she would often stop doing whatever she was doing right at 10 and make her way to the study table 5-10mins late. With some reprimands, explanation and coaching she now understands that punctuality is about timeliness AND readiness and she is always at the study table 5 minutes before the designated time and ready to start her homework precisely “on time”. I am proud of her that she is on time and keeping her word on doing her homework.  And this respect for time is just one of many important values that we as parent have to teach our children.

 

Another value that we have been teaching our daughter is self-respect and respect for others. I would say that ever since she was young, our daughter has been learning that showing compassion and empathy for the experiences and perceptions of others are ways to show respect. She is mindful of presenting herself in a respectful way to elders and to her fellow friends and classmates. And she also shows respect for others people’s property and assets.

People sometimes forget that there are simple day-to-day ways to show respect. For example, we can exhibit respect through small courtesies such as making sure not to knock the other person’s car door when opening the car door in tight parking lots. By taking care to protect the value of things, we show an understanding for the amount of time, and money and energy it takes to achieve and acquire these assets. It is disrespectful to take for granted that all of these items- whether a new toy, a new home, a new car, and even less tangible things- such as a new friendship, are easily replaced.  These small gestures are so important and yet we do not see this respectfulness exhibited as often as we should.

Being gracious and generous are other values my husband and I have been teaching our daughter since she was little. For example, when her friends give her a book or snacks, it is important for her to understand that she should give something back to her friends in return. If she doesn’t have snacks or toys to share, she has learned that accepting what others offer without complaint, and offering gratitude, and saying thank you, is expected. When she sees us carry heavy things, she asks “May I help you to carry that mommy?”,  or when she sees clothes on the floor, she would say “Mommy may I put these clothes in the laundry basket?.” We need to teach our children that when they don’t have concrete resources or things to give, they can give of their time, energy or attention, and this shows self-respect and teaches others that our contributions have value.

Another value is personal hygiene. Children must be taught early to take care of their body. I always say to my daughter, ”You only have one body. If you do not take care of your own body, who will?” Since she was young, we have taught her to keep her feet and hands clean. That means when she comes home, she has to wash her feet and hands. Brushing her teeth at least twice a day is also important because it is easy for children to brush their teeth in the morning but when it comes to brushing at night before going to bed, children normally do not do it. Therefore, it is important for us as parents to make sure our children brush their teeth twice a day. The proper way of washing her hair/shampooing etc is also important. Not only does this teach children good health and hygiene habits, but they also learn that they are deserving of time, care and attention, that if they respect themselves, this shows others that they are deserving of respect as well.

All these values are important for our children to grow up into mature, loving individuals. When they learn values and utilize those values in everyday lives early on, they are on the path to success in the future.

 

Spending time with your family

We live in a dynamic world where change is a constant part of our day to day lives.

Keeping up with this fast pace of life is challenging and stressful. There are many instances where we take our relations and family for granted and put them on the back seat. We are constantly dealing with the pressures of meeting deadlines, leaving no time to even get to know our own children. 

Sit back; take a deep breath and think – 

Have you been spending quality time with your loved ones? 
Have you been neglecting your children lately? 
When did you last have dinner with your siblings or have you had the time to thank your parents for being there?

 

It is ironical how we get so entangled in our own mess that we forget the importance of relationships. Time slips away quickly, and before you know, it is too late to mend rusted relations. Now is the time to slow down and set aside a day to spend quality time with your loved ones. 

 

When you do spend time with your family, you will realize that each member of the family has different qualities and attributes to share. You will broaden your horizons and learn more about your own siblings, cousins, elderly and children. It is said that the human brain usually recalls good memories and has the ability to suppress the bad one. By spending time with your family, you are building beautiful memories and later in life you will cherish these. You will also realize that this time spent away from laptops, blackberries and meeting reminders will act as a stress buster and will invigorate your senses.

 

Children grow up quickly and before you realize, they have developed into an individual with their own personality traits. Their personality is often dependent upon the love and care that they receive from the people around them. Therefore it is important that the children also learn the importance of interacting with their cousins at a young age. These informal and playful interactions will help develop the child’s social skills and their sportsmanship qualities. When children grow up among loved ones besides their parents, they have an added feeling of security which helps in moulding a positive self esteem. Their smiles, laughter and games will also brighten your day.

 

 

 

 
 

These activities with the extended family need not be expensive. Visit a park or a beach. Pack a picnic basket and carry a frisbee. Invite your extended family and their children and spend a day building cherished memories.

My family and I gathered at the Labrador Nature Reserve and then visited the West Coast Park last Sunday to spend some time together. The children had a great time playing and enjoying the time spent with their cousins. I am happy to share some pictures to encourage you to also plan a day out with your loved ones.

 

 

10 Gentle Reminders

Source: Kate Spade's Book of Etiquette



Children etiquette - Instilling good manners in a child

Do you know how to instill good manners in a child? Teaching manners is a gift that parents can share with their children, but they have to be patient and consistent in this process. 

Home is the place where children learn about love, caring and pleasing others and so manners should begin at home. Praising the children and letting them know that their efforts at home; for example, tidying up their toys, washing their hands, helping to set the table, speaking nicely to their family members and other little things around the house, will make children feel confident and continue good behavior.

By three years of age, children can learn to say please and thank you. Parents should use these words often and the children will become more aware of what manners are.

A child won’t become a polite, kind individual who thinks of others overnight. This is a long and continuous process that requires consistency- in both rewards and reminders. With commitment, parents can teach and support their children and learning the basic rules will become the building blocks of a more complex and sophisticated understanding of courtesy and civility as children grow up.



If you would like permission to reprint all or part of this article, contact Eunice at eunice@imageflair.com.sg

 

Partnership with SK-II and UN Women

At Image Flair, we are dedicated to shaping the way women feel about themselves and we are very proud to partner with SK-II and UN Women Singapore in the  first-ever EMPOWER ME Campaign in Singapore.

The "Empowerment Effect" Workshop last Saturday, January 12 was a huge success. Ms. Victoria Peak from SK-II opened the workshop and was introduced by Ms. Eunice Tan, founder of Image Flair who also shared the objective of the workshop. Attendees also had  the privilege of hearing  a presentation by SK-II Brand Ambassador, Ms. Sheila Sim,  who gave a personal testimony on Empowerment.

Our life-coach, Mr Micheal Chua shared his empowerment tips and secrets to help build the attendees’ self-esteem and  confidence. Our Image and etiquette consultant, Ms. Diana Anne had equipped them with social knowledge and enhanced image styling skills to help them secure better employment opportunities and career advancement.

 

We are so happy that the attendees from Beautiful Women enjoyed the workshop and we appreciated that they gave  us three loud cheers “Good Job” at the end of the workshop. This means so much to us as we felt that we have achieved our goal.

Our next "Empowerment Effect" Workshop  will be conducted for the residents and volunteers of Casa Raudha on January 19. We will share more about the event after the workshop.  

To view the pictures of our Empowerment Effect workshop, please go to our Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Image-Flair-Academy-of-Modern-Etiquette/148990591835272.

 

Personal Grooming - Beauty Tips – DIY removal of blackheads and whiteheads

Whiteheads and blackheads may occur on any type of skin. Blackheads result into the appearance of seemingly and small black spots on the skin, which can make your skin dull and dry. Whiteheads appear when oil and sebum inside the pore becomes infected by bacteria, and thus causes pus to form.  It is very important to remove them, as they can make you feel uncomfortable.

Fortunately, whiteheads and blackheads can be easily treated and eliminated by using some effective treatments. 

I have been experimenting with some of the effective homemade beauty treatments, and found out that there are some effective homemade and natural ways to eliminate them. There are many products in the market that removes black heads and white heads. I have tried many, but I would highly recommend, “Do it yourself” removal of black heads and white heads, if you have the time.

I have tried the following method of removing whiteheads and blackheads. For this, you will need:

Egg white, bowl and cotton pads.

Note: Concentrate on the face areas, like forehead, cheeks, nose and chin.

Here are the steps that you need to follow:

Step 1: Spread the egg white on your forehead with your fingers.

Step 2.  Place the cotton pad on the forehead. (If you feel the cotton pads are too thick, you may make it thinner and stretch it to cover the area in your forehead)

Step 3.  Add more egg white on top of the cotton pad on the forehead. Make sure that the cotton pad is wet and stick on the skin.

Step 4: Repeat Step 1-3 on cheeks, chin and nose as well.

Step 5: Let it dry. (I like to do it on a hot day, it dries up pretty fast)

Step 6: Peel off the cotton pad when it becomes dry. You will notice that there are many black heads and whiteheads on the cotton pad.

Note: You may repeat the process 2 to 3 times, if you feel that one try does not provide the sufficient results.

Step 7: Use scrub to scrub off the blackheads or whiteheads, which got stuck in between the pores. Then wash your face and use ice cubes to close up the pores.

Step 8: Follow it with your normal beauty routine, like apply moisturizer and sun block.

Now, you can easily remove your blackheads and whiteheads from your skin by applying the above method on your own. I have tried this method and found it very effective. So, why don’t you try to remove your whiteheads and blackheads at your home?  It really works.

 

 

Business Etiquette - Body Language in Business

Body language is a term used for forms of communication that use body movements or gestures instead of, or in addition to, verbal language or other forms of communication. Even your most subtle movements, including winking and the movement of your eyebrows, are considered part of your body language. Did you know that you are capable of making thousands upon thousands of facial expressions? With this ability to communicate your innermost feelings comes an obligation to learn how to use your body language to successfully work with others.

Understanding body language


Although you are usually not aware of it, you constantly send and receive non-verbal signals. These signals tend to indicate what you are truly feeling. Most people are capable of reading this language, so it is wise to pay attention to what you are saying via your physical demeanor. One of the most important times to be aware of your body language is during a brief encounter. For example, if you are interviewing for a job that you want, the person doing the interview will pay close attention to the way you enter the room, the way you sit during the interview, and what you do with your hands. Some employers train their interviewers to mirror a person's body language for the purpose putting them at ease. This gives them the sense that they are being understood.


Ways to positively use your body language

If you are intent on always making a good first impression when you meet someone, you must be able to control your body language. Saying the right things, both verbally and physically, will go a long way towards establishing a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. There are a number of things you can do to emit a positive feeling. Making direct eye contact is a great way to show the person you are meeting that you are sincere and confident. These are two highly desired traits.


The handshake is the focal point of the greeting ritual, and it often determines the comfort level and success of an entire meeting. Start with direct eye contact, then initiate the shake (gender is not a consideration). This demonstrates confidence, professionalism and gracious behavior. Meet the person's grip web to web and palm to palm. The shake should not be a bone crusher or limp (the kind of handshake that only includes half the hand). If you suffer from sweaty palms, blot your hand before shaking.

 

A warm smile invites conversation and openness. The key is the smile must be sincere, people can read a fake smile a mile away. When you want to show you are interested and listening, smile and nod your head up and down. Keep your hands away from your face when you speaking, because this gives the impression that you are unsure or lying!


Maintaining good posture shows an alertness and a sense of excitement that allows you to appear vibrant and full of life. Finally, keeping your hands open towards the one with whom you are talking demonstrates a willingness to open yourself to them. In contrast, closed hands or hands in your pockets tell someone that you need to shelter or protect yourself for some reason.

 

The way you dress says as much about you as your body language. Always be sure you are properly dressed for the job you have.  It is also important to wear clothing that is appropriate, of the best quality you can afford, and in good taste. It isn’t how many outfits you have, or the labels you wear that count, it’s how you care for your clothing and how you put it together with style. Most important is that your clothing reflect your positive attitude toward yourself, your work, and others.

 

Carefully consider what your body language is telling other people. It tends to say as much about you as your words. You want your body language to display an earnestness, openness, and sincerity that will make others want to interact with you. Communication is key in all relationships, so develop an ability to effectively communicate via your body language.

 

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If you would like permission to reprint all or part of this article, contact Eunice at eunice@imageflair.com.sg